Looking Back To See the Future

Recently turning 50 has had a very strange effect on my way of thinking. Looking back over the years I would have never thought things would be the way they have turned out. There is good and bad as you may have guessed. The most compelling thought is that I wish I knew half as much as I thought I did in the past. With every day comes another reminder that I did not have all the answers.

In retrospect things could have been much worse for I have had a good life all in all. Many are worse off and I am thankful for what I have been given. I also feel for those who have been less fortunate than I. We all must play the hands we are dealt in the best way we can.

At this stage I find myself constantly looking back and second guessing my prior decisions. Trying to weigh each and every situation in my mind and asking myself “what if” I would have done it this way instead. Probably a natural progression of a man at this stage of life. Not really being sure if this is a healthy approach or not. But I do see it as a way of learning from my mistakes or my victory’s.

On a positive note it is very seldom that I come upon a situation now that I don’t have an occurrence in my past to draw upon to make what I think is the right decision. Especially the times that I know that I made the wrong move in the past, I simply choose the other road. The power of deduction. If a mans mistakes are a measure of his current level of knowledge then I am a pretty smart fellow.

But getting older brings a new perspective on all things. New found confidence abounds due to the fact that I have the “been there, done that” card in hand now. The looking back factor still plays heavily on my mind. When I close my eyes at night I can’t help but to revisit all of the critical points in my life that I wish I could do over.

To quote Bob Segar in the song “Against the Wind”…”I am older now but still runnin against the wind”, seems to sum things up for me. But the journey has just begun as I see it. They say life begins at 50…I’ll let ya know